At first it was just a headline
Unemployed man kills five members of family, then shoots self
I was talking to a couple of friends on a conference call, when the news flashed before my eyes. As I read the headline out aloud, one of them said-“Must be one of those lower middle class Americans behind on payments. The other said, “Or maybe he lost a lot of money in the stock market.”
As I clicked on the link to open the story, it turned out that the man, Karthik Rajaram, had an MBA in finance, had worked for Sony and Price Waterhouse, and lived in a house worth just under a million dollars in a gated community. He had been unemployed for a few months, and in a premeditated plan, killed his 19 year old son a Fulbright scholar and Honors student at UCLA,who was home for the weekend, two younger sons aged 9 and 7, his wife and his mother in law before turning the gun on himself. And he was from
Indeed, this so called model minority that is known for its super achieving academicians and is among the most affluent in America, also has a dark side-that of struggling to keep up pretences, of always worrying about what would people say, and not seeking help/
There is denial-What? I’m not mad. Why should I go for counseling? There is fear- What if anyone finds out?
Evidently Rajaram, too did not seek help. Instead he bought a gun last month, wrote three detailed notes, see sawed between killing himself and killing every member of his family. He chose the latter. Perhaps he thought he would have peace of mind if they all went with him.
I looked at the story and felt incredible sadness and anger. What right does a human being have, to snuff out 5 other lives against their will? Why should they pay the price of one man’s anguish and depression.
But it’s not an easy question to answer. The close ties that bind an Indian family and the responsibilities that come with it can often be back breaking. Add to that the time bound expectation that it’s the man who is the main bread winner. In trying times, when a crisis sweeps you off your feet, the sense of failing all those expectations are over whelming and can result in such tragedies.
I also realized as I sat thinking-it’s really not just an Indian problem. The sense of shame and inadequacy someone feels when they don’t meet expectations-of others close to them or their own cuts through barriers of color, race and cultures.
Another thing that is a continuous refrain is the sentence that I read-it said, the family kept to themselves and seemed like nice people. This lack of inclusiveness that I see in society today seems to be a big reason why people are lonely and depressed-angry and frustrated.
I remember growing up in
Do we have to face such extreme tragedies to really appreciate what is truly important in life or will we all continue to run helter skelter popping sedatives to sleep, another pill to wake up, and chew anti depressants like candy.
Something is really really wrong with the way we live today..
1 comment:
Many people won't speak about their depression. Don’t let depression consume you. Reduce that stress around your shoulders. There are types of depressions, but all have the same common roots. Don't hesitate to take help and assistance. I want to share a self help program which will help in treating depression .
Post a Comment