Monday, November 3, 2008

Oh look, its a bird, its a Palin, uh Plane

Is it just me or is everyone suffering from election fatigue? I just can’t seem to escape the never ending dissection of every political move, every word uttered-I have distorted vision-(yeah I really think Tina Fey is Sarah Palin), distorted mind-(I wish Tina Fey was Sarah Palin) and a never ending refrain in my head-I need ear plugs and opaque glasses.

And in spite of all the hoopla, the mind boggling discussions, the heated debates and media blitz(Wolfie isn’t the only one blitzing or should I say obliterating the television screen), I see so many people still clueless about what the candidates bring to the table.

I get answers like McCain’s too old, Obama too young from most people- depending on the age group I talk to- on why they aren’t voting for one or the other.

People talk more about Palin and McCain’s appearance on SNL, then the issues at hand.
And instead of serious discussions I get jokes like the one below and I actually laugh

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

So yeah is it just me or are we all really thrilled Tuesday cometh?

1 comment:

SSQuo said...

You didnt include Chris Matthews and Keith Olberman!!! I see MSNBC is not on your fav list of TV networks. :)

Good post.